I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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