I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
