He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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