So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You dont lie about slip and slides
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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