We tried having a conversation with our noses.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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