were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
