I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
