its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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