you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
