You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
