so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
