1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you would pick up someone in the library
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
