Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
