dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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