i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
