I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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