dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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