Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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