he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize