With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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