You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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