the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
