thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
