He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
