I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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