Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
