i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Randomize
