I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
