dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
