Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
