Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
