he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
