I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
