well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
