the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
