you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize