Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
