Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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