Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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