She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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