I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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