marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
