after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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