my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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