Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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