Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize