Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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