I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
