I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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