I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
