I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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