I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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