Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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