You're completely useless in the revolution.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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