i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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