i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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