apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
