That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
