the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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