So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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