Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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