butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
