he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize