I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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