some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
