I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
