the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
